Where do I fit in the kingdom?  And does it matter if I fit?  What if I have found my own way, and fitting isn’t important?  What if it is important to me that I fit in, but I just don’t?

Men don’t really ask these questions of themselves, but I think women tend to.  Maybe it’s a self-confidence issue.  That is usually something we women fight a lot of the time, unfortunately.

In every ward there is the “music person”, the “party organizer”, the “scripture guru”.  Come on, you know what I’m talking about.  Certain women just demand that label to be placed upon them.  They’re good at it, but they also somehow demand it, and we cater to that.  What happens when two or three people are good at the same thing, then what?  Sometimes these women become great friends and “powerhouses” within the ward.  They become well known within the stake and it goes on from there.  Sometimes, the women don’t become friends and the more vocal one gets all the attention (callings) and the other one doesn’t get any opportunity.

Some of us need labels painted on us to feel important.  Often those personality types are likeable, so we don’t mind.  Sometimes the callings fit the person for years, but what happens when the calling changes and that pedestal turns into a gutter and instant learning curve?

What about sisters who don’t feel they have any particular talent to share, where do they fit in?  Do they secretly hope to be asked to be a part of a committee?  Do they prefer to not be asked ever?  Do they worry about identity?

And then there’s the shy talented person who consistently gets overlooked.

I discovered something about myself.  I like to volunteer second; not first, not never, but second.  Someone else already was the “first one to volunteer for everything” in the ward, so I didn’t want to supersede her, but I like to volunteer occasionally.  Somehow there’s no pressure in that position.  I don’t let anyone down that way.  If there is absolutely no one willing to do IT, fine I’ll do it.  But I don’t have that obligation, or drive, to “perform” either.

After living in a ward for a lot of years, you get to know what people can or are willing to do.  When meeting someone knew, I will always give them the third degree.  I ask what their interests and talents are.  I keep a mental list and know whom to call on for help.  I have a problem asking the same people over and over again when in my head I know there is someone else capable, but maybe a little shy about it.  I am all about spreading opportunities.  Yeah, it’s easy to call on the person who is THE person to ask.  They will probably say yes, but what about the other fourteen people who never get asked.  Everyone needs to be needed sometime.  And maybe they’ll say no.  It’s entirely possible and you might have to end up going back to THAT same old person again.  But it’s worth asking around first.

I have lived in a ward where there were not enough people to fill the callings.  Everyone had three to five callings and everyone was busy helping one another.  It was great to feel needed and sought after to do whatever needed to be done.

I have also lived in a very talented ward.  Needs were easily met.  I found myself not needed some of the time.  That was okay, but after a while I would get antsy.  I guess I’m one of those who needs something painted on me, yet I’m too shy to demand it.  So, my solution is to volunteer in town, outside of the ward.  It keeps me personally satisfied and still needed somewhere.   I still have the option of volunteering for a few things here and there in the ward, or accepting a calling as needed.  It works for me.  The bottom line is the Lord can depend on me whenever He needs me.  The calling doesn’t define me, but I am always willing to work in the kingdom wherever I’m needed.