I had two girls go through the Young Women program, and I have to be honest, it was a hard time for them. When they served as presidents of their classes, the advisors typically took over, not giving them the opportunity to exercise leadership skills. Activities were usually thrown together at the last minute, if planned at all, and they usually didn’t have a purpose. Granted, the Young Men program was in even worse shape; they usually just played basketball, for their lack of planning.
I believe the leaders meant well. Teenagers are very busy these days, and by the time they have reached Young Women age, the girls have their own ideas and way of doing things, and without support of the parents, Young Women leaders often have their hands tied.
We as parents need to support this program a little more than we do, under the stipulation that it is organized and has a detailed program in place. The program demands cooperation from everyone.
Now, in my own opinion, motherhood is not emphasized enough for our Young Women. I remember creating babysitting kits and learning about various ages of babies and toddlers; I don’t believe they do anything like that anymore. In fact, it is often difficult to even find a babysitter these days over the age of 13.
It seems to me if we want our girls to understand about life we, as mothers and leaders, need to teach them…together. Our girls should learn how to cook, how to clean a house properly, manage a household, and learn a skill. They often have jobs, but they aren’t taught how to live on a budget, saving 50-75% of their money. If these girls graduate from high school with a skill under their belt and savings in the bank, they are miles ahead of so many others. Their skill can earn them a higher paying job that will allow them more flexibility in college. Their savings will give them security to really get what they want out of life. And what they should want out of life is to prepare themselves for marriage and motherhood.
In this day and age, it is harder and harder for new couples to make it; so many end up going back to live with the folks; they have to take out loans; they often wait to have children until they feel they can afford them. If their time in Young Women’s were used a little more creatively, with sites for the future, these girls would get hold of life earlier, plan better for themselves, be able to survive these major decisions that seem to hit them all at the same time.
We as mothers should be teaching them first and foremost, but with the help of the Young Women advisors, there becomes a partnership, where our girls are prepared for the very difficult world in which they face. Can you imagine the head start these girls would have if they were taken under the wing by the true power of the Relief Society, literally raising them in the ways of valiant, strong women?
We have the opportunity to train our girls how to not settle in life, but to go after what they want: college; proper communication skills; how to stay away from debt, and how to save. How cool would it be for a young woman, on the eve of her wedding, to be graduated from college (or more than half way), have already put into practice many communication skills with her man, to not only have zero debt, but have money in the bank for a future down payment on a house, a car, a nest egg to allow her to stay home and start a family. Our young women need guidance, and training, to get a good start in this world. It will only get tougher for them. There is no time to waste.
When a young woman is temporally prepared for the world, she can focus on the spiritual nature of her role as woman.
This is what the Relief Society can do, as sisters work together, teaching and training as a team, to secure the future of those we love and rise triumphant from this earthlife.
I could have written this post!!! My 14yo daughter faithfully attends YW, and is looking to learn things that will truly help her in her life, whether it’s temporal things or spiritual things. Unfortunately, it ends up being more just like you describe; unplanned activities that are put together at the last minute with very little value for the time spent. We will still be obedient and faithful, and she will attend mutual. I just wish I knew how I could help my daughter and the other girls without stepping on the toes of the YW leaders.
I’m enjoying the blog! 🙂
Rachel a.k.a. “Old-Fashioned Mother”
http://www.oldfashionedmotherhood.com
It is a real dilemma. If you happen to be serving in the YW, or even the RS, there is a way to voice your opinion effectively, but if not, it’s a lot trickier.
I personally would love to see the RS step in and offer training classes for our youth. I would also love to see “all” the women/young women meet together for ward, stake and general meetings, rather than keep us divided.
Any ideas out there?
I don’t think it’s as much of a dillemna as you think it is. Young Women’s Leaders are ALWAYS on the prowl for ideas. However, when you offer your ideas you should also offer your services to help (or do) the activity. You want you daughter to learn how to make scones? Offer to teach the class and then write notes of gratitude and take them around to teachers or members of the ward.
As YW leaders, we just held a YW leadership training and it was a big success. It was very comprehensive and covered all the callings and responsibilities. As YW president, I feel very strongly that the YW program is their training ground for RS, other callings, and life. Our goal is to turn the program over the to the YW to plan and execute, with us there to be the safety net and offer guidance and advice. The problem we are having is convincing the YW to take it on. I think they have been conditioned to have the leaders do it all. I told them that graduating from Primary meant the coasting was over. It’s their time to learn to lead.
As a parent, the best way to help the YW program be successful is to work with the YW leaders. Keep up with activities and remind your kids. Ask them what’s coming up. Work on Personal Progress WITH THEM. Regularly. Be willing to give rides to and chaperone dances.
As we heard in the RS Broadcast, they are waiting for strong women. If we work together those strong women will be there soon.
Good for you! I support you 100%. It’s all about training and retraining-the kids, with our expectations, and the parents, with their responsibility. And be sure to invite the RS, as an organization, as well as mothers, to help teach the girls things about life. We are all in this together.