These words from Joseph Smith:
“As females possess refined feelings and sensitiveness, they are also subject to overmuch zeal, which must ever prove dangerous, and cause them to be rigid in a religious capacity—[they] should be armed with mercy, notwithstanding the iniquity among us.”
Women are the most compassionate humans on the earth. We have a natural gift, we exude hearts capable of loving the innocent; nurturing is in our blood.
BUT, we can also be the cruelest, most underhanded, belittling, cat fighters ever.
Have you ever been offended by a sister in your ward? Have you ever been a part of a gossipy group? Are you the root, or merely a bud, of the ward grapevine? Do we overhear hurtful things about those we love?
While speaking to an early group of Relief Society sisters, Joseph Smith gave a strong recommendation to them: “to put a double watch over the tongue…I have one request to make of the President and members of the society, that you search yourselves—the tongue is an unruly member—hold your tongues about things of no moment—a little tale will set the world on fire.”
When men are asked if there are ever problems as they work together, the answer is typically no. Men just get busy and do the job. Women, on the other hand, can have an assortment of power struggles, quiet anxiety, pride, an attitude of chatty chit-chat, and full board gossip. Brother Joseph continues, “I am advised to tell the Relief Society to be virtuous, but to save the Church from desolation and the sword: beware, be still, be prudent, repent, reform, but do it in a way not to destroy all around you…but don’t do more hurt than good, with your tongues—be pure in heart.”
How many people have left the church because someone said something cruel about them? Maybe words were misconstrued, but they shot right through the heart. Anger and accusation can never be taken back and forgotten; they leave such ugly scars. Harsh, thoughtless words, spoken by someone who “knows better”, become bitter fruit borne by an ugly memory. The Dreadful Day of the Lord will find these words shouted on the rooftops for all to know of your hate and envy.
Women have the potential to open their arms and accept all into a loving and welcoming room. All women can judge others in a positive, uplifting way. Did that sound weird—to judge positively? Words that come out of the mouths of women can be soft, accepting, full of compassion, loving, patient, and nice, even when said behind someone’s back. Kind words can lift a lost soul. An understanding look will bring acceptance and peace. A touch will invigorate the lifeless.
“Sisters of the society, shall there be strife among you? I will not have it. You must repent, and get the love of God. Away with self-righteousness. The best measure or principle to bring the poor to repentance is to administer to their wants. The Ladies’ Relief Society is not only to relieve the poor, but to save souls.”
Joseph Smith’s words remind us that tenderness, humility, and mercy toward others will bring people to Christ, literally saving their souls.
Quotes from the Eleventh Meeting of the Nauvoo Relief Society Minutes and the History of the Church, Vol. 5.