There has always been a problem with modesty…and there always will be, because Satan knows just how to grease the wheel.

We raised two girls and four boys.  From the time the girls were small, sleeves always covered their shoulders, including sundresses, when they were babies.  They learned to feel naked without a solid covering.  Our boys were taught to avert their eyes or change the channel when a “bad” commercial came on.  Movies and shows were always monitored and yes, there were some movies and shows “not allowed” any viewing at any time.  Even with these rules and standards, it hasn’t all been easy.  Our kids never fought us, because we started young, but the influences of the outside world never let up.

Elder Mark E. Petersen gave a talk back in 1962, where he was unapologetically blunt.  All he says stands true today.

He was addressing Relief Society officers and quoted Brigham Young, who said, “These Relief Societies are for the improvement of our manners, our dress, our habits, and our methods of living.”  Sisters should be able to find support and be supportive as we train our children to dress modestly in an immodest world.

Continuing, he says, “I went to the dictionary to see what it had to say on the subject [of virtue].  It gave as definitions, courage, strength, valor…purity, and chastity.”  The word valor means strength of mind which enables one to encounter danger firmly.  Similar words are gallantry, heroism, personal bravery, and courage.  As he pondered these words he clearly understood that “without the standards of the Church there is no holiness, nor any virtue either”.

Mothers have long since been held accountable for the raising of our children, more so than the men.  Elder Petersen states, “I remembered that the Prophet Joseph Smith laid it upon the Relief Society women of the Church to protect our homes and families by preserving virtue and holiness.  The principal cause of juvenile delinquency is unsatisfactory home life.  Unsatisfactory home life results largely from adult delinquency.  Adult delinquency is weakening the moral fiber of the Nation.  The preservation of the home is left chiefly to the wife and mother.  In a large part the home is what the mother makes it.  Do our women have the personal courage, the valor, the strength of mind to meet this present situation?”  I find these to be very strong words, and very important words, to consider.

But if you thought that statement was bold, listen to this one:  “Do you know what tempts the boys to molest the girls today more than any other one thing?  It is the mode of dress of our girls who, in the summertime, often wear extremely abbreviated sun suits, even on the streets; who wear dresses above the knees, whose clothing about the bust is often so tight and revealing that it nearly takes the breath away from the boys who look at it.  It is the low-cut evening dress which permits a boy to dance all evening gazing down into a half-concealed, but half-disclosed bosom, thus setting him on fire with an unholy desire.  When the boys are coming into their teens and reaching maturity, and such sights are placed before their eyes…can you blame them?”

The question he asks is:  “Who permits them to dress in this manner?”  He points out that young women are taught that to be in style you have to expose yourself to a certain extent.  There can be a mixed message given at home where the mother wants her daughter to look stylish and fit in to what everyone else is wearing, while the father hangs back wishing his warnings could be heard.

“Women of the Church pay far more attention to the style designers in New York and Paris than they do to the appeals for modesty on the part of the General Authorities.”  This is a sad commentary on the level of our obedience as a worldwide church, in Elder Petersen’s day, as well as our own.

“The Lord says we are to garnish our thoughts with virtue unceasingly.  Can a boy’s thoughts be garnished with virtue while he is looking at the plainly outlined form of a beautiful young woman?  Are the girls’ thoughts garnished with virtue when they wear revealing clothing?”  “Mothers, unless you take a stand, your daughters will not take a stand.  You must set the requirements, you must make the decision.”  And Relief Society can be a place where support and encouragement can be found.

(“Modesty Protects Virtue”, Elder Mark E. Petersen, October 3, 1962, delivered in the Officers Meeting of the Annual General Relief Society Conference.)