It’s really hard to watch the news these days and hear once again that a family has been destroyed by selfishness and lack of self-control.  All of our families are at risk.  We need to help one another stay committed to our husbands and our children.  The world cannot offer us enough to forsake them in any way.

President David O. McKay and his wife Emma, had a golden marriage.  They were known for their strong marriage that lasted for sixty-nine years on this earth, but will surely continue through the eternities.  It was Pres. McKay who said, “No success can compensate for failure in the home”.  He preached over and over again by word, as well as example, how to value the family.

I ran across his ten points of advice for a happy home.  (I’ve added my own comments alongside them.)  These are principles that are everlasting, and we would be wise to honor, teach, and live them still.

1)      “Ever keep in mind you begin to lay the foundation of a happy home in your pre-marital lives.  While in courtship you should learn to be loyal and true to your future husband or wife.  Keep yourselves clean and pure.  Cherish the highest ideals of chastity and purity.  Do not be deceived.”— (So many people laugh when you talk about “ideals”, but this is the standard we must aim for if we are to rise above the world and enter into the kingdom of God.)

2)      “Choose your mate by judgment and inspiration, as well as by physical attraction.  Intellect and breeding are vital and important in the human family.”— (Church membership does not guarantee a worthy spouse; involve the Lord in this important decision.)

3)      “Approach marriage with the lofty view it merits.  Marriage is ordained of God.  It is not something to be entered into lightly or to be dissolved at the first difficulty that arises.”—(The world teaches that marriage is optional; that it is more important to please yourself.  With our understanding of the gospel, we know that marriage and eternal life are everlastingly entwined.)

4)      “Remember that the noblest purpose of marriage is procreation.  Home is children’s natural nursery.  Happiness in the home is enhanced by having children at the fireside.”—(This point disagrees with the world’s view, that marriage is so we aren’t alone.  Children are not as important as they once were, or as they clearly should be.)

5)      “Let the spirit of reverence pervade the home.  Have your home such that if the Savior called unexpectedly he could be invited to stay and not feel out of his element.  Pray in the home.”– (There are some homes where the spirit is thick and present.)

6)      “Let husband or wife never speak in loud tones to each other.”—(Sometimes this is really really hard to do, but showing self-control is more important than venting feelings.  Handle disagreements with care.)

7)      “Learn the value of self-control.  We are never sorry for the word unspoken.  Lack of self-control is the greatest source of unhappiness in the home.  Children should be taught self-control, self-respect, and respect for others.”—(We chose to come to this earth to control our own will by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the gospel.  The world will never teach this most important of principles.)

8)      “Fasten home ties by continued companionship.  Companionship fosters love.  Do everything to cement love for all eternity.”—(Date your spouse, hold FHE with your children and your grandchildren, see to your parents’ comfort, keep the generations of the family strong, safe, and secure.  Do not let Satan destroy your home.)

9)      “Make accessible to children proper literature and music.”—(Satan controls all media.  Be on your guard.  However, enjoy the beauty of language and glorious melody.)

10)   “By example and precept, encourage participation in Church activity.  This is fundamental in developing a true character.  Church activity should be led, not directed by parents.”—(Parents must set the example in all good things.  Church activity includes complete involvement and support in all the auxiliaries and programs sponsored by the Church.  If everyone takes Church activity more seriously, programs will run better and be more helpful in the raising of the next generation.  However, parents must lead the way.)

What can Relief Society do?  Offer ideas, classes, couple activities, encouragement, and support.  Do not allow Relief Society to become a place to gossip, complain, or expose the family. 

From   Home Memories of David O. McKay, compiled by Llewelyn McKay