In our world there are no instructions on how to be married.  Some couples have figured it all out; they’ve set aside their differences and worked out the true goal of life.  Our Church gives bucket loads of helpful information to teach and train for a successful journey.  It’s that important.  Relief Societies can offer hope, and a place to learn how to make our marriages work.  But Relief Society is not a place to bash, complain about, or gossip about difficulties.

The world displaces women, suggesting to us that marriage is demeaning; that women need to fight for everything.  The Church teaches the truth and we need to focus on that, learn from those guidelines, and not be afraid, but always trust in the Lord.

I found this very interesting quote from Brigham Young that teaches the women of the world something very profound.  His words fit perfectly with what the temple teaches about men and women, and the divine order that is an eternal law.  Listen carefully, and judge yourself, and your personal situation.  And above all, gain righteous hope that will give you eternal happiness.

Brigham Young is specifically addressing women who struggle in a marriage where the husband may be spiritually weaker:

“He should never suffer himself to be moved to the right hand nor to the left from the principles.  But when he can in righteousness yield to the desires of his family, let him do so, and by kindness and love, nourish and cherish them, as the Lord does the Church; and in so doing, they will love and honor him as a husband and a father.  The wife should never follow her own judgment in preference to that of her husband for if her husband desires to do right, but errs in judgment, the Lord will bless her in endeavoring to carry out his counsels; for greater is the sin of rebellion, than the errors which arise for the want of judgment.  Therefore, she would be condemned for suffering her will to arise against his.  Be obedient, and God will cause all things to work for good; and he will correct the errors of the husband in due time by the authorities of the priesthood; and if he governs his family in unrighteousness, and the wife is obedient, the sin will be upon his head, and if he repent not, when he is reproved, he will be disfellowshipped, after which, the woman is not under the same obligations to abide by all his councils, as in the days of righteousness.  As we have already observed, the law of strict obedience on the part of the wife and children is only applicable in families who are in the Church of God, and in full fellowship.  Rebellion in families is as sinful as rebellion against the authorities ordained in the Church; and a wife will lose the spirit of God in refusing to obey the counsel of her husband, just the same as members of the Church would in rebelling against the counsels imparted to them by the Priesthood.

Another great cause of dissatisfaction is that so many women are such noble women, and know so much more than their husband.  They say, ‘this man is not capable of leading me’.   That is a positive proof to me that that man does not know his ability and calling.  I will acknowledge that many women are smarter than their husbands.  But when people are married, instead of trying to get rid of each other, reflect that you have made your choice, and strive to honor and keep it.  Do not manifest that you have acted unwisely, and say that you have made a bad choice, nor let anybody know that you think you have.  You made your choice; stick to it, and strive to comfort and assist each other.  Sisters, do not ask whether you can make yourselves happy, but whether you can do your husband’s will if he is a good man.”  (JD 9:38)

Make use of the many Ensign articles, Conference Addresses, classes, and class material the Church has available for us to learn, grow, and love.  We need to step up and exercise our right to a beautiful and tender marriage.