Men on Modesty


In my daughter’s single’s ward, they arranged to have the Elder’s Quorum President teach Relief Society, and the Relief Society President teach Elder’s Quorum. The RS President spoke about Pornography. The EQ President collected comments from the men about their feelings of immodesty. I share these revealing comments with you.

 

“Yes, Modesty is more than just the clothing we wear. But honestly, as with many other aspects in our lives, the outward manifestation of the belief principle (modesty in this situation) is one of the strongest indicators of what one believes…we must outwardly live the law, we must inwardly believe the principle.”

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“The way that women dress has a HUGE impact upon the way men think and act. When I ask a sister out on a date, and she is dressed immodestly, it makes the date uncomfortable for me, but at the same time gives me the message that I can be more casual in the way I speak and act…When a woman dresses modestly, she sets herself apart from the world. She is giving the message that she knows of her worth without showing that extra skin.”

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“There is nothing more pleasing to me than to meet a modestly dressed girl that is confident in her inner beauty and shows it in the way she dresses and acts.”

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“Plainly put, a girl that is dressed immodestly will attract scumbags, while a girl that dresses modestly will attract good men. The sisters need to realize that a LARGE percentage of men are addicted to pornography. These men see women as objects. When dressed immodestly, they are just telling the world that they are fine with being another object; that men have free reign to stare at them and create dirty thoughts.”

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“Modesty is the woman’s way of showing that she respects and honors the Priesthood.”

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“As a people, we are commanded to bridle our passions, and modesty is several yards ahead of it by eliminating the temptation to engage in immoral acts.”

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“When I see a woman immodestly dressed, it seems like she thinks that she has nothing more to offer. It makes it seem like she will purposely dress in a way to get attention because she feels like that’s the only way to have guys look at her. To me, it doesn’t necessarily reflect her spiritual welfare, because it doesn’t mean she is going to break the law of chastity, but it does reflect on the way she views herself.”

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“The trend of immodesty makes me uneasy. It makes me call into question the values a mom will hold for her daughters. It makes me nervous about how late she will let her daughter stay out with a boy. It makes me nervous about the values she has kept up until this point in her life. And, well, you have to draw your line in the sand somewhere. You have to qualify the character of a girl by some standard. And because modesty is a principle taught by the Prophet, it is a quality useful in characterizing a girl at least to some extent. It’s fair game entirely to choose to not spend time with a girl because you feel she dresses too immodestly. I have heard so many times that a ‘guy should look deeper’ and not ‘judge on the surface.’ But hey, the Prophet has spoken and since he has, the debate is over. Modesty is in every way an outward manifestation of an inner testimony.”

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“As a practicing LDS young adult, my covenants and standards are top priority. When a woman dresses immodestly, my mind starts to wander and it’s harder to focus on virtuous thoughts. Women become objectified; they become objects of pleasure instead of independent, beautiful, free thinking, covenant making women.”

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“Sometimes I just prefer to not talk to an immodest girl. I will also say that it becomes a little hard to focus because you have to put so much attention on looking straight at her face because if your eyes wander even slightly, abort abort. Now I know we shouldn’t be letting our eyes wander, but oh, I don’t know.”

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“It causes so much more sadness. It causes so many more immoral thoughts in guys than we should have. Tight fitting clothes are nearly as bad as no clothes.”

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“I will minimize any time that I spend with those sisters who choose not to embrace modesty. Why? Because I know that by allowing my mind to be in an environment where modesty does not prevail, I am in the same situation in which Joseph of Egypt found himself with Potiphar’s wife.”

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“The Spirit cannot be present in his fullness where immodesty prevails. And I desperately want to walk hand-in-hand into the Temple with someone who is pure, clean, virtuous, and who can invite the Spirit to my family. As a future husband and father, I need all of the wisdom and revelation I can get to face the challenges ahead. A young woman who strives to keep the Spirit with her at all times is someone who can keep the Spirit with her future family.”

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“The worst thing about immodesty is that perfectly wonderful girls are often unknowingly disqualifying themselves from the STRONG brethren that they claim to be seeking. When I see a healthy, good looking girl dressed immodestly, I am definitely attracted to what I see…but the smarter bits of my brain let me know that this immodestly dressed girl is someone who simply ‘doesn’t get it.’ Whether she is insecure, susceptible to cultural influence, or simply less intelligent, it doesn’t really matter. The ‘why’ isn’t my concern. What is my concern is that she is probably not a good match for me. The why’s and how’s of modesty are easy to understand, and if she doesn’t understand modesty as a basic principle, it is likely she hasn’t applied her mind and heart to understanding other gospel principles.”

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“We understand it’s tough. And we are standing beside you when the world challenges your values. As guys, we are on your team in every way.”

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“My own mental virtue is something that I have been greatly saddened by lately. It has not been where it should be and I’ve felt great sorrow about this. Now, that isn’t to say I am a vile sinner, but when I let it slip, and don’t work to bring it back up quickly, I can’t have the Spirit with me and then I am more likely to keep going south. I recall one Bishop talking to me about this type of thing, when I was about fifteen, or so. He said it is a lifelong struggle.”