My mother made a decision when she got married. She decided to continue her schooling, earned a Ph.D, and taught college while my grandmother stayed home and raised us children. She has some regret over this choice, but is grateful it worked out as well as it did. Whether a mother stays home, while raising her children, or works, does not guarantee righteous children; there are way too many factors. But when asked the following question, during an interview, my mother gave a most interesting answer.

Question: What do you think is the contribution that women can make to the Church?

It may sound funny coming from me, but it seems to me like the greatest contribution we can make is through our children. There’s a scripture that has really struck me. Occasionally, I have asked myself, “Now what is God’s business?” He tells us in Moses 1:39, “My work and my glory is to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” It seems to me like this is the business we’re all in. I don’t think we’re aware of it. I think most of us think that we are here to stay on earth, and that we better manage to set up our life in a way that is pleasant and everything. I don’t think that’s what it is. I think we’re here to save others. Our calling, as mothers, is to save our kids and to teach them that they can live in such a way that they can be exalted. When I was a young mother, I never realized that. I thought that we were here to stay. I thought it was important for me to develop a profession as well as to have and rear children. I recognize now in retrospect that I could have made a better choice. I really believe that this is the main contribution that women can make. There are others.

The feminists tell us that a mother is the bottom of the heap and that staying home is awful. And some women in the Church say that also. It would be true if you could not develop within the home, but I don’t believe that at all. The women I see, that have not made the same choice I have made, can be wonderfully accomplished women. I don’t doubt there are some who watch TV all day and are not getting anything done, but these women have problems.

I have some of my neighbors who have chosen to have many children. They excel in many other things. And this is why I refuse to believe that a woman can be so bogged down with children that she cannot do anything more than that. We have so many talented musicians in our ward. Some of them have eight children. We have a concert pianist who has five children. Another woman has six or seven children and paints beautiful pictures. I don’t see that having children limits you. I see, on the contrary, that some of these women have developed great strength through their children.

My favorite person in the Church is a woman of whom I’m sure nobody has ever heard of, but she will gain the Celestial Glory. She has had nine children, all faithful in the Church, who have gone on missions and married in the temple. Through her life, she has taught them the gospel. And now all of them are sincerely dedicated to gaining the Celestial Glory. It is a tremendous family. She’s the one who has done that. But to her, having children meant that she had the stewardship over them, and her responsibility was to make them aware of the Gospel, and live the Gospel when they were small. Through their life she has been guiding them in a tremendous way. Those children have managed to be pretty normal kids, while at the same time, being totally immersed in the Gospel. It’s an extraordinary thing she has done. My own children are rather worldly, but it’s because I taught them that. As I changed, I have tried to change them too. But when kids are older, it’s much more difficult. But this lady got her kids into the gospel from the day they were born. Could a job be more important than saving our children?

I’ve often felt that when I stand in front of the throne for the final judgment, they’ll ask me, “Well now, what have you accomplished?” And I’ll say, “Well, I got a Ph.D.” What does that mean in terms of the eternities? Nothing. If I could say, “My three girls have gained the Celestial Glory,” I would say so much more. I wouldn’t be surprised if my friend could say, “I was given the stewardship of nine children, and my nine children got into the Celestial Glory.” And her efforts do not stop there. She has a beautiful voice and she sings in Church. She’s forever an instrument in the hands of the Lord. She has phoned me when I was in such depression that I couldn’t stand myself and she helped me out. She teaches me the Gospel. She helps in the salvation of people around her. When I have a problem and I submit it to her, she shapes me up in no time at all, because she tells me what God would tell me. Those are the women who make it. Feminism is so worldly. It has nothing to do with the Gospel, nothing at all. Our real achievements are in terms of the Gospel. The others will mean little or nothing in the hereafter.

(Genevieve De Hoyos interviewed by Jessie Embry for the James Moyle Oral History Program of the LDS Church)