In the past, if there was a family having difficulty, the Bishop would find out about it, tell the Relief Society President, who went to the Compassionate Service Leader, who then went to the Visiting Teachers to check up on, and assist. That is a very long protocol. There has been a slight shift, for the past few years, where Visiting Teachers are to take action first, informing others on the totem pole. Old habits are hard to kill, aren’t they?

The Handbook says, “Through visiting teaching, the Relief Society president helps the bishop identify and resolve short-term and long-term needs of sisters and their families.”  (pg. 69, 9.5) That puts Visiting Teachers on the front line, where action should happen first.

It goes on to say, “Members of the Relief Society presidency instruct visiting teachers on ways to care for, watch over, remember, and strengthen one another.” (9.5) I have never been in a ward where true training takes place. We typically talk about who isn’t being visit taught, how important it is to reach every sister, and why we aren’t getting it done. Of course, by then guilt is written on many faces. But no true training has actually been taught.

What I have witnessed is a Relief Society President blasting a sister for not calling her first, when she needed help. I have also witnessed one sister, with many friends in the ward, get gallons worth of food and help, leaving the Visiting Teachers with nothing to do, while another sister, less known in the ward, ends up with a mouse’s portion of food, visits, or attention, and the Visiting Teachers are no where in site. Well meaning people need to be aware that there is a protocol in place. Pay attention to the real need, listen to the spirit, let the Visiting Teachers do their job, and please, Visiting Teachers–be there.

I was disappointed in the History section of this month’s message. It wasn’t historical at all. When I think of what Visiting Teaching could be, I think about those sisters who came out west on the trail.

Remember, the Mormons left Nauvoo, crossing the Mississippi in February. They crossed a frozen river and settled their tents in the cold and rain. It’s well known that nine babies were born that night, in Sugar Creek, across the river from Nauvoo. Can you imagine??? The rest of the journey dealt with more babies, much sickness, and death.

All they had were each other. If they needed help, the other sisters were close enough to know instantly they were needed. Sister-wives watched their husband’s children get sick and die. Journals record how some of those women just bucked up and helped women they did not get along with, or were jealous of, or loved dearly, but saw their eyes close for the last time on this earth.

It’s hard to imagine what it was really like. In our day, we are much more distant from one another. Does that mean we need each other less? I don’t think so. What keeps us distant? Pride? Time? Priority? Lack of Testimony?

Our Relief Society leaders are asking us to make a difference in our Visiting Teaching this year. How are you doing? What have you done to allow your Visiting Teachers to help you? Does the Relief Society leadership teach, train, and honor the role of a Visiting Teacher? There are many directions action can be taken. In our day and age, there is still much work to perform; much service to dispense, and much love to freely give.

What does training entail?

1. Provide consistent visiting that builds a relationship of friendship, commonality, and love.
2. Show interest in her, as an individual. Ask about her; let her talk. Tune into her needs, interests, and life.
3. Build trust by being trustworthy, dependable, and sincere.
4. Your relationship with her will open up avenues with opportunities to see and fulfill needs that come along.
5. Pray regularly for your sister.
6. Allow for quiet time, in your own life, so you can hear, feel, and sense promptings.
7. Learn to act on promptings by practicing on those you visit teach. The Lord will bless you with opportunities. And each sister will love you more with every attempt.
8. Learn the gospel well. Live the commandments the best you can. Study our prophet’s words. Be active, helpful, and kind. Your example will speak for you.
9. Your visit will become special if you are prepared with anything that will bring the Spirit into your sister’s life. She needs to feel the Spirit. The both of you will grow closer as you share the Spirit together.
10. Pray with your sister. Teach her. Uplift her. Love her. Be there for her. Serve her. And ask her first if it’s okay to pass any information about her to the RS Pres. and/or Bishop.

The more we have, and share, experiences of a spiritual nature with one another, the closer our ward Relief Society sisterhood will grow.