Prayer is our greatest tool to form a relationship, and discover the will of our Heavenly Father, but I’m not sure we use it as the tool that it can be. At least, I know I don’t. Too many times I find myself asking for things over and over again, or worse, repeating mindlessly the same thing again and again without any thought put into it.

 

As I’ve grown older (and supposedly wiser) and have listened to the prophets, and seen patterns in the scriptures, I have come to believe that prayer isn’t even remotely given to us so we can ask for things. Prayer is a form of communication where we have the opportunity to recognize God and our Savior for all that we have because of them, and then it’s to listen for their direction as we have made that effort to draw close to them.

 

How many of us really use prayer as a tool of communication to understand God’s will, leaving our will completely out of it? In fact, why do we pray? There isn’t going to be a “right answer” to this, but these are my top four reasons:

 

1. To show gratitude in all things
2. To ask to understand the mysteries of God
3. To cry unto Heavenly Father our belief and willingness to obey His Son
4. To find strength

 

We observe, in the scriptures, that fasting is almost always linked with prayer. Why is that? Probably, again for our sakes, to humbly come before our Heavenly Father to find out His will. Not to demand our own.

 

I can’t emphasize enough that prayer is a means to know God’s will, to become an instrument in His hands, to “let go and let God.” We need the Lord’s help in all things, but it isn’t our own will that we are concerned for, it’s for those we have stewardship over.

 

Joseph B. Wirthlin said,

 

“Fasting and prayer can help us in our families and in our daily work. They can help us magnify our callings in the Church. President Ezra Taft Benson taught: “If you want to get the spirit of your office and calling as a new president of a quorum, a new high [councilor], a new bishop [or, I might say, a Relief Society president]—try fasting for a period. I don’t mean just missing one meal, then eating twice as much the next meal. I mean really fasting, and praying during that period. It will do more to give you the real spirit of your office and calling and permit the Spirit to operate through you than anything I know.” (“The Law of the Fast”)

The two go hand in hand to offer us power and courage to do God’s will. That’s what this earth life is all about … and we often forget that.

 

Whenever I hear a lesson on prayer I immediately recall one of the most inspiring stories I’ve ever heard. Elder Bednar once shared an experience when his wife was asked to pray asking for nothing.

 

“During our service at Brigham Young University–Idaho, Sister Bednar and I frequently hosted General Authorities in our home. Our family learned an important lesson about meaningful prayer as we knelt to pray one evening with a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.

Earlier in the day Sister Bednar and I had been informed about the unexpected death of a dear friend, and our immediate desire was to pray for the surviving spouse and children. As I invited my wife to offer the prayer, the member of the Twelve, unaware of the tragedy, graciously suggested that in the prayer Sister Bednar express only appreciation for blessings received and ask for nothing. His counsel was similar to Alma’s instruction to the members of the ancient Church “to pray without ceasing, and to give thanks in all things” (Mosiah 26:39). Given the unexpected tragedy, requesting blessings for our friends initially seemed to us more urgent than expressing thanks. Sister Bednar responded in faith to the direction she received. She thanked Heavenly Father for meaningful and memorable experiences with this dear friend. She communicated sincere gratitude for the Holy Ghost as the Comforter and for the gifts of the Spirit that enable us to face adversity and to serve others. Most importantly, she expressed appreciation for the plan of salvation, for the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ, for His Resurrection, and for the ordinances and covenants of the restored gospel, which make it possible for families to be together forever.” (“Pray Always”)

 

What I learn from this story is that God doesn’t necessarily need us to dwell on the pain of this mortal life (although, there are definitely times I need to “let it all out” and I know Heavenly Father understands completely). He already knew how the Bednar’s felt, how the surviving spouse and children felt, and what His spirit could do for everyone. What God wants for us is our complete submission to His power and grace. It is our responsibility and privilege to communicate our love, our testimony, and our deep gratitude for His divine nature and ability to provide everything for us.

 

That isn’t to say we can never ask for anything. But when we ask, let us ask in faith, already believing that He knows, He cares, He is with us, and His blessing is assured, because we have asked in the name of our Savior.

 

In the lesson, Pres. Benson tells a story about his experience in Europe when he was assigned to take food to the starving saints. He had to receive permission from the military officer in charge and the first time they went they were rejected. They went outside and prayed. They returned, spoke to a different officer, and were immediately ushered in to see the general. They were on the Lord’s errand. It was their opportunity to teach how the welfare program worked, to represent the Church well, and to fulfill this desperate need for the Church members in that area. When we put everything we do in the hands of the Lord, our activities become more centered; our purposes become more divine; and our prayers become more faithful.

 

As Pres. Benson concluded, “Never before in this gospel dispensation has there been a greater need for prayer.” May I add—the right kind of prayer—the kind that shows our complete trust in Heavenly Father’s will, that we might witness His divine power, and be used as instruments in His hands.

 

• As women in the home we are under covenant to teach these principles to our children.
• As women in the Church we can strengthen one another by praying for one another and with one another.
• As women, we have the ability to enjoy the blessings and assurances that come from communing with our Heavenly Father.