When was the last time you set a goal and actually achieved it? Why did you set the goal in the first place? Do we sometimes get caught up in the moment and wish for the end before the beginning even starts? Goals can be like that sometimes.
Let’s make this year different. I wish I could give credit for this great lesson on goal setting, but I can’t. Whoever you are, thank you for making goal-setting very doable. If you want to really set a goal to set goals this year this is a great format to start thinking of how you can make it work for you. I think the most important part is to pray and wait for inspiration to lead you toward the right goal for you. The Spirit is the best motivator and when you know you’re doing what the Lord wants you to do, accomplishment means that much more, especially when it’s something hard and forces you to stretch. Good luck!
Goal Setting
“Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect”
Matthew 5:48
“Set clear and specific goals. When you set a goal and commit yourself to the necessary self-discipline to reach that goal, you will eliminate most of the problems in your life. Spend your energies doing those things that will make a difference.”
M Russell Ballard Mar. 2004
Lesson Objectives:
- Understand the role of personal financial planning in achieving your goals
- Identify what you want to accomplish in life
- Understand the principles of effective goal setting
Why Teach about Goal Setting:
Setting goals gives focus and direction in life. Elder M. Russell Ballard taught “I am so thoroughly convinced that if we don’t set goals in our life and learn how to master the technique of living to reach our goals, we can reach a ripe old age and look back on our life only to see that we reached but a small part of our full potential. When one learns to master the principle of setting a goal, he will then be able to make a great difference in the results he attains in this life[1].”
Understanding what the Lord wants for us and what we really want for ourselves will help us to know the paths we need to take to get there. Our personal financial plans should align our finances with our goals. “A goal is a standard, a skill, an ideal, or a destination that is to be achieved.[2]” As we determine our “destination” by setting and working towards our goals, we won’t end up climbing steps on a ladder that is leaned up against the wrong wall and therefore takes us to the wrong destination. Goals help us to make sure that we are taking the steps that lead us to where we really want to be.
Lesson:
The scriptures teach us that all things are possible,[3] but they also teach us about the law of the harvest,[4] which is the idea that one will not reap the fruits where one has not sown through labor. Goals help us to create direction and a sense of purpose in our activities. Imagine if you were in the middle of the ocean and in a row boat. If you saw nothing on the horizon, how much motivation to row would you have? If you did choose to row for a couple hours and still saw nothing how much motivation would you have then? Now contrast that to a situation where you are in a row boat in the middle of the ocean but off in the far distance you see an island. How would your motivation to row change? After you rowed a couple hours how would being able to see some progress increase your motivation to continue rowing? Goals can be the “island” that gives us increased motivation and an ability to track our progress to that final destination.
Goal Setting Principles
More important than just setting goals is the progress that is made as you work towards achieving them. These principles will help you to set and achieve worthwhile goals
Seek Heavenly Guidance
Our leaders have counseled, “Before we set our individual goals, we should pray and meditate. We should ask Heavenly Father to help us know where we are weak, what we need to improve, and what our goals should be. Our patriarchal blessings will also help us understand what our individual goals should be. Instructions from our Church leaders can help us in setting our individual goals.[5]” As we come to know what our Heavenly Father expects us to do and become, we will then know which goals to set. It is often helpful to ask ourselves “What does the Lord expect me to do and to become.” This will help us to set goals that will ultimately lead to the greatest happiness. Elder M. Russell Ballard taught, “Pray for divine guidance in your goal setting.[6]”
Specific and Measurable
“Set clear and specific goals.[7]” If one were to set a vague goal like “I want to be happy” then one would find it very hard to know what to do to accomplish the goal and how well they are performing on accomplishing the goal. Specific goals like “I want to pray every morning before leaving the house.” will allow one to track the progress of achieving that goal.
Realistic but still cause you to stretch
“Challenging goals will help you work effectively and lead you to stretch and grow.[8]” However if the goals we set are too demanding on our time and resources then it is easy to give up on the goals. We have also been counseled to “Set … goals that you can reach.[9]” Having goals should help you to achieve more than you otherwise would, but unrealistic goals lead can lead to discouragement and decreased productivity.
Write them down and put them in a prominent place
Elder M. Russell Ballard taught “I would suggest to you that setting goals is a simple process, but there are two or three things about it you have to learn. I learned in my business career that I could get all excited about a principle, or that I could get all excited about trying to do something, but if I did not write it down and if I did not place it in front of me where I looked at it over and over and over again until it really became part of me, I did not accomplish that goal. I would suggest that if you want to have success in the goal setting process, you learn to write your goals down. I would even put them in a very prominent place—on your mirror or on the refrigerator door. Keep your goals in front of you, in writing. Then, with the desire to reach your written goals, you will be more willing to pay the price that successful goal-oriented people must pay.[10]” Bishop John H. Vandenberg said: “I feel that goal-setting is absolutely necessary for happy living. But the goal is only part of the desired procedures. We need to know which roads to take to reach the goal. … [People] need to make commitments with themselves by writing down their goals and keeping a record of the fulfillment of their achievements.[11]”
Activity:
- After reviewing the principles listed above hand out writing utensils and paper to everyone. Allow people to set goals. After setting goals, ask the following questions:
- Is the goal specific?
- Is the goal realistic?
- Will the goal make you stretch
- What can we do to increase accountability for the goal? (Write it and display it, track progress)
After discussing each goal, revise the goals if necessary
- Assign each family member 1-2 of the scriptures below have them read them and be prepared to identify and share the principles in each of the scriptures that apply to goal setting
- 1 Cor. 9:24–27 (run to obtain; be temperate)
- Mosiah 4:27 (not requisite to run faster than we have strength)
- Mark 9:23 (all things are possible)
- Galatians 6:7 (law of the harvest)
- D&C 67:13 (continue in patience until ye are perfected)
- Proverbs 25:28 (important that we rule over our bodies)
- Set family goals. “Setting family goals will help us grow in love and unity in our families and can help us gain family exaltation with our Heavenly Father.[12]” After setting family goals consider applying the questions found in activity one of this lesson.
For Younger Children:
- Read the following story. You might want to reenact the grape and graham cracker principles. If grapes and graham crackers are not available feel free to substitute other foods. After reading the story ask the following questions:
- What did Jamie learn about setting goals?
- Why was it hard for Jamie to keep his goal?
- What goals do you want to set?
- What are some things we can do to help you reach those goals? (draw pictures and put them around the house)
“The ringing went on and on, and Jamie finally opened his eyes. He rolled over and shut off the noisy alarm. He wanted to stay in bed, but he knew that if he didn’t get up, his mother would come get him. He needed to clean his room this morning. He swung his legs out of bed and jumped on the floor.
“Ouch!” He had banged one of his big toes on a red racing car that was on the floor. He looked around at the clothes on the floor, his train and blocks by the door, and the books on the floor of his closet.
“It just isn’t fair,” Jamie thought. “My room is always messy.” He felt frustrated. “Why can’t I keep my room clean?”
He knew that his big sister, Jill, would ask him the same question. Jill was nine, and it seemed like her room was always clean, her clothes were never on the floor, and her toys were always neatly put away on her shelves and in her toy box. Jamie couldn’t figure out how she did it.
Last week in family home evening, Mom and Dad had talked to the family about goal-setting and asked each person to set some goals for the new year. Jamie decided that his goal would be to keep his room clean. Well, it was the first week of the new year, and already he was failing. He tried and tried to keep his room clean, but it got messed up every time he played in it.
After breakfast, Jamie went back to his bedroom to clean. He decided to drive the toy train around the room to help pick up some toys. He added some blocks and toy cars to the train’s load, then he stopped by the toy box and dumped them all off. Then he stacked up a few books to make a bridge for the train to cross. Before he knew it, he was busy creating new bridges and pathways for the train. By the time Mom called him for lunch, he still hadn’t finished cleaning his room. In fact, it looked worse than it had before! There were even more toys out, and his pajamas had joined the other clothes on the floor.
Jamie walked slowly into the kitchen, dragging his feet and sighing. Mom looked at him. “Jamie, is something bothering you?”
“Mom, I can’t keep my New Year’s goal,” Jamie admitted. “I can’t keep my room clean. I guess I am just too little.”
“Do you mean that your toys are too heavy for you to put away, or that your dresser drawers are too hard to open?” Mom asked.
“No,” Jamie answered, “I’m just too young to keep my room clean. I don’t know how Jill keeps hers clean. She must not play in it very much.”
“I don’t think that’s it.” Mom thought for a minute. “Jamie, I think you need to learn a little bit about how goals work.” She got out a box of graham crackers and a bunch of grapes, then sat down at the table next to him.
“Jamie, what things need to be done to have a clean room?”
He thought for a minute. “Well, my toys need to be put away, and my books should be on the bookshelf. My bed should be made, and my clothes should be in the closet.”
As Jamie named each item, his mom placed a graham cracker on the table. The crackers formed a line.
“And when all of these things are done, your room is clean. Right?”
“Right.” Jamie answered. Mom placed a grape at the top of the line of graham crackers. The graham crackers looked like a pathway leading to the grape.
“OK, Jamie, pretend that the grape is your goal—keeping your room clean—and the graham crackers are things you have to do to reach your goal.” She took one of the crackers away. “What happens if one of these things isn’t done?”
“The crackers don’t reach the grape anymore.” Jamie thought for a minute more. “And I can’t reach my goal.”
“That’s right. See, all it takes to reach a big goal is doing a bunch of little tasks all together. But it’s hard to accomplish your goal if you don’t know what little steps you have to take.” Mom picked up all of the graham crackers and handed them to Jamie. Then she helped him decide what he needed to do to keep his room clean.
“I can make my bed as soon as I get up in the morning,” Jamie said. He put down one cracker. “I can put my books away after I read them.” He put down another cracker. “I can put my toys away after I finish playing with them.” He added another cracker to the line. “And I can put my clothes away after I take them off.” The graham crackers now reached the grape.
“If I do each of these things, one at a time, soon I will reach my goal!” Jamie said excitedly. He grabbed the grape and tossed it into his mouth.
After lunch, Mom and Jamie made pictures of the things he had to do to keep his room clean. They hung the pictures on the back of his bedroom door to remind him. Then Mom helped Jamie clean his room.
The next day, the pictures helped Jamie remember to make his bed before breakfast and to put away his pajamas instead of leaving them on the floor. Jamie smiled. It was nice to have a clean room, but it was even better to know that he could keep it clean all by himself.[13]”
Assignments:
- Pray and seek guidance as you set goals
- Read your patriarchal Blessing
- Sit down and write out what you believe the Lord wants you to become
- Over the next week, write down your goals and put them in a place where you can review them often
- Set at least one goal in each of the following categories: Long-term, Medium-term, Short-term, Personal, and Family
- Write down in your journal goals from the past with analysis of why you accomplished some but failed to accomplish others.
Opening and Closing Songs:
- Thy Spirit, Lord, Has Stirred Our Souls (Hymn157)
- School Thy Feelings (Hymn 336)
- Seek the Lord Early (Primary Songbook 108)
Other Resources and Ideas:
- lds.org
- Preach My Gospel, “How to Set Goals,” pgs 146-147
- M. Russell Ballard, “Do Things That Make a Difference,” Ensign, Jun 1983, 68
- “Lesson 32: Setting Personal and Family Goals,” The Latter-day Saint Woman: Basic Manual for Women, Part B, 271
- M. Russell Ballard, “Go for It!,” New Era, Mar 2004, 4
[1] M. Russell Ballard, “Do Things That Make a Difference,” Ensign, Jun 1983, 68
[2] Lesson 32: Setting Personal and Family Goals,” The Latter-day Saint Woman: Basic Manual for Women, Part B, 271
[3] Mark 9:23
[4] Galatians 6:7
[5] “Lesson 32: Setting Personal and Family Goals,” The Latter-day Saint Woman: Basic Manual for Women, Part B, 271
[6] Elder M. Russell Ballard, “Keeping Life’s Demands in Balance,” Ensign, May 1987, 14.
[7] M. Russell Ballard, “Go for It!,” New Era, Mar 2004, 4
[8] Preach My Gospel, pg 146
[9] Elder M. Russell Ballard, “Keeping Life’s Demands in Balance,” Ensign, May 1987, 14.
[10] M. Russell Ballard, “Do Things That Make a Difference,” Ensign, Jun 1983, 68
[11] Conference Report, Apr. 1966, 94
[12] “Lesson 32: Setting Personal and Family Goals,” The Latter-day Saint Woman: Basic Manual for Women, Part B, 271
[13] Terina Atkinson Darcey, “Graham Crackers, Grapes, and Goals,” Friend, Jan 2005, 20