Pornography is insidious. It is life-threatening. It destroys everything in its wake. It is Satan’s grasping desperation to stop Heavenly Father’s Plan from succeeding. But enough about this awful plague that we all must deal with. I would rather talk about the ways to shield and withstand its ugly onslaught.
After attending a meeting on the prevention of pornography, lead by the LDS Family Services, I have come home renewed and ready to fight the new drug, which infests our homes, children, and grandchildren.
We all recognize that it’s no longer a matter of if, but when, we will be personally affected by pornography. Since it’s inevitable, does that mean there’s nothing we can do? Absolutely not! There is a lot we can do to thwart the adversary from taking away our precious loved ones. Here are three monumental ways to fortify your household:
HOLD REGULAR FAMILY COUNCIL
This family meeting (separate from Family Home Evening) is more important than ever. This is where the family can come together and talk about issues that crop up. Face it, all families have issues! Use this meeting time to form a family plan of action, which offers hope. If anything needs to change, figure out together how to change it. Encourage open dialogue at any time, day or night.
Family Councils can also be times to schedule additional family time, Daddy-Daughter dates and the like, that will build relationships and strengthen the love you have for one another. Family love is one very strong force against Satan.
Captain Moroni fortified Nephite cities layer upon layer (Alma 50:1-6). As a family, we can all participate in layering our protection and defeating the powers of Satan at our doors.
COMMUNICATE WITH ONE ANOTHER
Not many families really know how to communicate. It can be a difficult skill to learn but is essential in combating Satan. Teach your family that you are all for one and one for all.
Communicate with words, time, action, and lots of love. Teach your family why the family is important. What can’t be taught, and exemplified, by anyone else is the doctrine of the family. This will include the sacredness of procreation, how each earthly family is a similitude of the one big, all-encompassing family of God, and that setting standards and guidelines will preserve and protect this incredible gift of life you have been given.
Speaking to fathers, Elder M. Russell Ballard said,
“Dare to have the “big talks” with your sons … I am especially concerned that we communicate openly and clearly with our sons about sexual matters. Your sons are growing up in a world that openly embraces and flaunts early, casual, and thoughtless promiscuity. Your sons simply cannot avoid the blatant sexual imagery, messages, and enticements that are all around them. Fathers and Church leaders need to have open and frequent discussions that teach and clarify how young men of the priesthood handle this issue. Be positive about how wonderful and beautiful physical intimacy can be when it happens within the bounds the Lord has set, including temple covenants and commitments of eternal marriage. Studies show that the biggest deterrent to casual sexual activity is a wholesome attitude that connects such personal relationships with genuine commitment and mature love. Fathers, if you have not had this “big talk” with your sons, please do so, and do it soon” (“Fathers and Sons: A Remarkable Relationship,” Oct 2009).
Of course, this goes for mothers and daughters as well.
Our parents lived in a time when it was taboo to speak about physical intimacy. This, unfortunately, set up the next generation to not be properly educated. When children came asking their questions, parents often cut off the conversation, too embarrassed to teach anything. One young woman remembered how her parents treated the subject of sex. Instead of saying No! No! No! they said Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! That helped her understand at a young age that sex isn’t bad, but is actually part of the plan reserved for an appropriate time.
USE CHURCH RESOURCES
Our prophets are fully aware of what we deal with on a daily basis. They know how bombarded we all are at every turn. Years ago they were shown how Satan’s evil deeds would grip the world, and leaders have prepared, early on, resources that will help. The Family: A Proclamation to the World is a perfect example of seeing afar off for the day when this document would be sorely needed as the standard of the doctrine for the family. Family Home Evening is another example. In addition, the Church offers us countless resources that will help us and teach us how to safeguard our families. And they don’t sugarcoat anything. A Parent’s Guide, published in 1985 is an excellent guide to follow if you struggle for the right words.
Through these resources, and many others listed below, you will be able to teach the doctrine of family, without resorting to reprimands and dysfunction in the household. It is up to parents to love their children enough to teach them the truth. Be relentless in securing a fortified dwelling space for your family.
Sister Linda S. Reeves said,
“A friend recently cautioned, “When you ask the sisters to read the scriptures and pray more, it stresses them out. They already feel like they have too much to do. Brothers and sisters, because I know from my own experiences, and those of my husband, I must testify of the blessings of daily scripture study and prayer and weekly family home evening. These are the very practices that help take away stress, give direction to our lives, and add protection to our homes. Then, if pornography or other challenges do strike our families, we can petition the Lord for help and expect great guidance from the Spirit, knowing that we have
done what our Father has asked us to do. Brothers and sisters, if these have not been practices in our homes, we can all begin now.
Whatever happens in our homes, please take steps now to create a plan of protection. But even still, always remember these words, also from Sis. Reeves:
“Young people and adults, if you are caught in Satan’s trap of pornography, remember how merciful our beloved Savior is. Do you realize how deeply the Lord loves and cherishes you, even now? Our Savior has the power to cleanse and heal you. He can remove the pain and sorrow you feel and make you clean again through the power of His Atonement” (“Protection From Pornography—A Christ-Focused Home,” Apr. 2014).
We have a loving Father and Brother who have sent us down on earth to gain what they already have. They yearn for us to choose righteousness over wickedness because they want us to be happy. If we fall, we can repent. If we repent, we can be clean again. Satan desires to destroy us and he fights with no rules. Heavenly Father’s rules are rules of happiness.
Boyd K. Packer said,
“The laws of God on marriage, birth, and nurturing of little children may seem rigid, but they are very practical. His law decrees that the only legitimate union of man and woman is between husband and wife. For, should that expression of love result in conception, marriage provides shelter for the child who enters mortality innocent and helpless. Marriage ensures security and happiness for parents as well. Whatever the laws of man may come to tolerate, the misuse of the power of procreation, the destroying of innocent life through abortion, and the abuse of little children are transgressions of enormous proportion” (“Little Children,” Oct. 1986).
Recently, Pres. Packer spoke again on this topic:
“The commandment to multiply and replenish the earth has never been rescinded. It is essential to the plan of redemption and is the source of human happiness. Through the righteous exercise of this power, we may come close to our Father in Heaven and experience a fulness of joy, even godhood. The power of procreation is not an incidental part of the plan; it is the plan of happiness; it is the key to happiness” (“The Plan of Happiness,” Apr. 2015).
How grateful I am to belong to a God who cares about me, and all His children. Because of His Son, Jesus Christ, and through His prophets, we can overcome the world, even when difficulties come into our lives. Our families can be fortified against the destroyer through holding Family Councils, communicating with one another our love and testimonies, and teaching from the Church resources. There is much hope, love, and light available to help us win our battles in the war that has already been won for us.
Family Home Evening Lessons Teaching About The Dangers Of Pornography
LDS Videos Warning Against Pornography
Mormon Channel–Family Conversations: Talking About Healthy Sexuality
BYUtv: Avoiding/Overcoming Pornography
Good Pictures Bad Pictures Book