In the October 1987 General Conference, President Ezra Taft Benson gave a talk directed to the fathers. Today, this talk would be very different. Reading it now, for me, is almost refreshing because he speaks with such authority, making everything black and white. Where I feel more inclined to accept the message, I’m not sure this generation is as accepting. Pres. Benson opens his talk with these words:

“Fathers, yours is an eternal calling from which you are never released.”

One of our temple recommend questions challenges dead-beat dads. When fathers neglect their families, for whatever reason, they will have to face the consequences someday. Negligent fathers have to know they’re negligent. That must be a terrible burden to bear.  

Pres. Benson is bold in this talk, where he states very clearly that a woman should not have to work when there is a husband to provide for the material needs of his family. Of course, there are situations that would override that statement, but the general rule stands. He discusses husbands who force their wives to work just so they can afford more toys, or status. Today, I think that has shifted a little bit. Now, more wives demand to work for much the same reasons, as well as to feel more independent. Funny, why is independence so important when marriage promotes couples working together?

Would life be better if both fathers and mothers took their divine parenting roles more seriously?

He also condemns the delaying of having children, so that couples can have a few luxuries first. Parents such as these tend to get used to these luxuries and spend the rest of their lives living beyond their incomes. Our government actually makes it very hard for a family to “get ahead.” Add to that personal debt, and keeping up with the Jones’, life gets very hard.

Most of his talk focused on another area lacking in many homes. Quoting from a pamphlet the Council of the Twelve published in 1973, he says,

Fatherhood is leadership, the most important kind of leadership. It has always been so; it always will be so. Father, with the assistance and counsel and encouragement of your eternal companion, you preside in the home.

Specifically, spiritual leadership is essential in a home. Too often, that all-important spiritual guidance is left to mothers, friends, Youth leaders, or others. This is a father’s special charge. And not only to lead but lead by example.

Concluding his talk, Pres. Benson talks about how necessary it is for a man to love his wife. I love this section:

Love means being sensitive to her feelings and needs. She wants to be noticed and treasured. She wants to be told that you view her as lovely and attractive and important to you. Love means putting her welfare and self-esteem as a high priority in your life.

Husbands, recognize your wife’s intelligence and her ability to counsel with you as a real partner regarding family plans, family activities, and family budgeting. Don’t be stingy with your time or with your means.

Give her the opportunity to grow intellectually, emotionally, and socially as well as spiritually.

This is good counsel!

The world does not teach fathers or mothers how to love and guard a family. But God does. The world does not teach consequences of actions. But God does. The world does not teach of eternal love or lives. But God does. May we, as fathers and mothers, emulate our Heavenly Parents.